Things that annoy me:

Web sites that insist on your selecting a title – Mr. Mrs. Ms. – before you can submit your registration (e.g.

I am as offended by a requirement to state my gender as I would be by one to state my race.

Published by

Dinah from Kabalor

Author. Discardian. GM. Current project: creating an inclusive indie fantasy ttrpg

10 thoughts on “Things that annoy me:”

  1. why? little too sensitive.
    …maybe they would like to know how to address you if you are ever in
    contact with one another
    …maybe it is for marketing information
    just trying to figure out when it became a negative to be proud of
    your race, gender, age or whatever


  2. I like to be addressed as Dinah Sanders. No title.
    It’s not a pride thing, it’s a “none of your beeswax” thing. It probably is for marketing information, but if so they should put it in a separate optional survey.


  3. Chances are the question was set up by someone who hadn’t a thought about the fact he/she was being intrusive; it was just for the company’s convenience, likely for marketing survey purposes. But one of the advantages of a print medium like internet is that one doesn’t have to declare one’s gender, race, age, physical limitations, etc. It’s a place where one can interact with others and be evaluated and responded to based just on the value of one’s ideas. And chances are, the person who sees no value to that is a person of the dominant group (still male) who has never experienced the subtle downgrade that occurs when others know they are talking with a woman — the slight tendency to assume that questions are stupid questions, concerns being raised are frivolous concerns, rather than considering seriously the issue at hand. The guy who doubts this should try, for a few weeks, taking part in on-line discussions while identifying self as a woman, and otherwise using intellect in same fashion as always. I’d guess he’d learn something.


  4. Interestingly enough, I don’t have a problem with providing my gender or age or occupation for a legitimate purpose such as studying meme propagation across weblogs. Audible just wanted it to get more advertisers or for no particular purpose than forcing me into a rather stuffy form of address. The Minding the Planet person or persons is performing an intriguing study which I’d like to see the results of. Therefore, when I’ll get something I want out of it and I see a legitimate reason to inquire AND it’s optional, I’ll volunteer this kind of information. Requiring it is obnoxious. Something about catching more flies with honey, here…


  5. I see both of your points. And I can’t ever be female, so that is not a possible experiment. I’m not trying to be difficult, but I don’t get part of Jinx’s argument. You say that you are downgraded as a female online automatically due to gender. Well, in person, if you met someone cold for business or whatever, you would have to beat their notions. In that situation, whether you like it or not, s/he will know your gender. How do you, or women in general, deal with that situation? The women I talk to in my business never have complaints of this.


  6. Actually, Christien, Jinx described exactly how you could try experiencing responses to someone perceived as female.
    What business are you in? Recent conversations at,,, etc. would suggest to me that it must not be web technology.
    Here are some links:
    and those discussions will direct you to additional conversations about women and technology.


  7. Christien, in person one usually deals with it patiently, by rephrasing points as necessary; and often by letting it go when one just isn’t being heard, if it isn’t worth the effort (and the possible cost — in being told once again that women are over-sensitive, etc., and in being perceived as “difficult.”) It’s almost certainly not a good idea to complain of the problem to a business associate, so I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of it that way.


  8. In a utopian world, gender will be superfluous. Of course, the species must breed, but otherwise, it’s all a social construction, and ultimately, a constraint. Yup, you could argue this one for hours, but it’s the marketplace that shapes the perceptions of people towards other people. I don’t use “Mr.”, I can’t stand the term, it’s an empty word, like a lot of adjectives.


  9. I know EXACTLY how you feel, Dinah. Hate surveys,etc. that make you include that crap. Most of the time I choose ‘Dr’ if that is an option. I’m not an MD, but they don’t need to know that.
    When I correspond with my clients, I always address the envelopes with first name and last name…never use titles.


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